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Building Confidence In The Wonderful (And Slightly Abstract) World Of Dating

October 28, 2020

This post is sponsored, however, all opinions are my own. You can read more in my disclaimer here

It has been A LONG time since I’ve been in the dating world but as someone who believes in self-love and building your confidence, I get a lot of questions about finding the confidence to date. Whether you’re worried about dating while plus size or you’re concerned you won’t be able to find someone who is into the same things as you, it can be hard to navigate the dating world while you’re still on your self-love journey.

If you are worried about finding someone as the same interests as you, no matter how ‘out there’ and surprising they are, I thought I’d share some tips and tricks to help build your confidence while you’re on the dating scene.

To help, I’ve categorised it into some of the most surprising dating niches there are.

BDSM – if you’re a fan of Fifty Shades of Grey, BDSM dating may be something you want to try. Whether you’re looking for someone who has experience in this area or you want to make it clear you like things to be a little rougher than most, it may feel a little daunting putting yourself out there. For most, safety is also a huge concern when it comes to BDSM so if you’re worried about staying safe, you may want to start small and work your way up to scarier dates as you start to feel more and more comfortable.

Swinging – although it’s not for everyone, some people love the idea of swinging with other couples in their relationship. If you’re not an active part of the community, however, it can be hard to find other people who may be interested and for some, that can be damaging to your confidence. The best advice I have here is to take time to get to know others in the community and to do as much research as you can when it comes to finding other couples, you may be surprised at what you find.

Polygamy – if you want to bring a third into your relationship as part of your fetish dating but you’re a little unsure of where to begin, Polygamy dating may be a little daunting. If it helps, you may want to go on a one-on-one date with just one person first, bringing the third in at a later date.

Gamers – okay, okay. Dating a gamer is not outrageous, but if you’re looking for a specific person and you feel as though you don’t have the confidence to find them or approach them, you may start to find things get a little difficult. Whether you don’t feel confident in your own gaming abilities or you’re worried about whether or not you’re going to be too competitive, it’s important to remember than dating someone who has similar interests to you often easier as you have a lot in common.

Hook ups – if it’s a hook-up you’re after, confidence is key. It takes a lot of balls to be able to hook-up with someone you don’t know and if you’re not feeling overly confident, you’re going to struggle to put yourself out there. My best advice here is to regularly do things that make you feel sexy – like taking your own nudes! 

Do you have any tips and tricks for those entering the dating world? Share them in the comments section below!



My mission is simple. I want to help change the way travel looks, showing both brands and society that plus size people really do travel too. In a community where plus size travellers are made to feel unwelcome, I want to inspire and advise people like me on how they can make the most out of their own incredible travel experiences.Join me as I share my own personal experiences, my best tips and tricks and all of the challenges I face along the way. It won’t always be an easy ride, but it sure as hell will be a fun one.

Together, we can change the way that travel looks today



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